The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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