He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
