would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
