Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize