Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Let's paint friendship bongs
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize