But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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