i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
