i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
