Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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