Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
