I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
