He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
