I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
