school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
