I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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