The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
