He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
