none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
