Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Randomize
