we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
