your thong is hanging out like whoa
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
high people should be assigned attendants
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
