How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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