Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
