chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
