If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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