id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Are my feet made of real feet?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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