New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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