ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
