Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
