The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
