I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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