the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
