Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
