R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
