He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
