Someone shit on the floor
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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