Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
