Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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