Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
