oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
