Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
