so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
