once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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