the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
