What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Randomize