your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
