maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
