Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
