Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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