Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
