none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
