So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
