Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Randomize
