Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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