youre lurking in front of me
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
