I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's never too late to be topless.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
