my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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