I'm going to jail i love you
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
