Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
