we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
