i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize