Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
