i was rollin on her like bob the builder
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
