I accidentally had phone sex last night
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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