Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
