we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
