this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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