What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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