Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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