We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
