its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
