would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
