I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
