I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
it's like iHOP with fire
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize